Selfish Destruction

Self - a person's essential being that distinguishes them from others.

Selfish - lacking the consideration towards others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal pleasures.

Destruction - an act of deliberately causing irreversible damage towards something or someone.

Self destruction - an act of deliberately causing irreversible damage to oneself.

Closure.

As you all might have guessed, I have decided to discontinue freefall. Thanks for all of yall who've come to visit throughout these years. It's great knowing that you guys care :)

If Earth suddenly decided to rotate slower and grant me 34 hours a day then maybe this blog would come alive again.

Till then, signing off,

Kim.

When Layne Turned Twenty

This was 7 days before my exams (I know, others have it worse!), but it was well worth it. I've not laughed that much for a long time, dressed up that much for a long time, and not to mention blown cash that much for a long time, . Basically it was awesome, albiet being short and all. Thanks for this birthday (what a way to wish!)

Braggin' 'Bout Buttons

Well I think many of you have been guessing what the heck Industrial Design is all about. No, we don't just do toilet seats. This was what I was up to the past 6 weeks; the biggest project of Sem 1: Year One Design of Control Buttons.

Basically we're supposed to come up with 3 different buttons, be it a press button, a shift or a turn button; or whatever else. And all 3 have to belong to the same family and be made out of the same material.

Here's how the journey has been for me.

Week 1: My concept - Band Aid

My tutors asked me whether I was trying to humour them. God, I was so freaking pissed that day. It wrecked my entire week.

Week 2: I loved this modification of the Band Aid, too bad my tutors didn't. Another week wrecked.

They asked me to do more research on the material and to test out different tactile reactions of buttons. So I did. (The square button you see on top was made out of black foam and a layer of PVC.)

The prototype that got approved. (That was Week 5!! Bloody hell, only one week to finish my final prototype.)

Materials: Leather, MDF wood, Acrylic faceplate.

The key material ......long-lasting yet stylish leather......

.....that I ripped from this ugly handbag. Bought it at a flee market for one buck. Heck yeah!

Now to get started: The wooden base. That's a plain wooden block with laser engravings of my design on it. The acrylic top faceplate was also made the same way. Laser engravers rock!

Oh, that's just how I usually look like when I'm working

So I sandpaper the wood according to my design, using the mean sandpaper machine. Grrrr.....

Once the basic shape is out, I used the miller machine to make depressions on the base to fit the buttons.

Next, I spray-paint the base flat black. (After a whole ton of sandpaper-ing by hand to a plastic-smooth finish, mind you.)

At night its back to more hand-carved depressions for my buttons to function best.

At this point I realised that a plastic top plus leather probably wouldn't go well together. I wanted the top of my base to be made out of a certain type of fabric too; to compliment the leather buttons.

So I went to Chinatown to purchase this heavenly fabric. You guys should see and touch this thing. Ouuuuhhh.....

Spray-mounting the cloth onto my acrylic faceplate. That goes onto the wood; preventing my 3 buttons from falling out.

Once the faceplate is glued firmly onto the base, double-sided tape is used to mount the cloth on the sides.

My super messy room desk that night.

The floor ain't that bad.....

Final touches, sewing the fabric on the corners of the wood base so that the seams are concealed.

Submission Day.

That's my French tutor.
Kept my fingers crossed.

That's how it looked like after six weeks. Haha, quite pretty. **Notice the changes from the start of this assignment.

Positive Comments: It's very sensual; the fabric is very interesting; makes people wanna touch and caress it; blablabla

Negative Comments: I was too high-up on cloud nine that I didn't bother listening.

A very tired but happy me :)

What drives you too.

I was reading Elaine's blog Lavished and I realised I missed out one vital driver. Sorry for plagiarising layne, you deserve all the credit :)

NUMBER ONE: Passion. That's my fuel too.

Outz.

What drives you.

Okay, so I’ve spent the past wee hours of the morning making my remote control prototype. Task-check: one down, an estimated few million left to go.

It takes a whole lot of dedication and endurance to stay in design. For the first time ever, I had doubts about this course. To date, 3 of my fellow course mates have opted out of this nerve-wrecking course. Yesterday I was on the verge of just stomping on all my models to dust and start swearing to the entire world 3 times over. Just as I was about to strangle myself with the foam cutter, inspiration hit me like a train.

So I hung up my chicken-shit approach towards life and worked my ass off that morning. In the process I’ve thought of the TOP FIVE reasons why we should all keep fighting in our never-ending pursuit towards glory and success.


NUMBER FIVE: Expectations.

>>>>> Parents, family members and friends expect great things out of all of us. How could we bear the thought of letting these loved ones down? And I’m not just referring to the present; think of our future families, future children and yet-to-be friends. Dare you NOT live up to their expectations? But heck, the greatest drive is SELF-expectation. We might disappoint others but letting ourselves down is a big, fat, NO-NO.


Coming in at NUMBER FOUR: Seeing someone better than you.

>>>> Some might label it as jealousy but I’d rather see it as motivation. Here are some instances: When we mingle around smarter people we tend to study harder. Running with speedy sprinters? We burn those thigh muscles even more! Shit, that dude has a sharper nose than I do! Time to constantly squeeze my nostrils. With the right attitude, comparison equals improvement. Whether it’s “Survival of the Fittest” or “Kiasuism”, this form of “envious-motivation” deserves its rightful place at NUMBER FOUR.


At NUMBER THREE we have: Money

>>> This might be a huge number ONE to most, but I’ll get to that later. Money is one of the main reasons we are all NOT rockstars, NOT actors/actresses, NOT artists and NOT models. The dollar sign is the sole reason we’re all stuck in Universities we so utterly hate and doing things we would normally laugh at. In some rare cases *aherm* a select few of us get to do the things we love doing and end up working like dogs cause dogs....er.....like everything they do. Yeah.


Get ready for NUMBER TWO: Sexual drive.

>> HAH! I am completely sure when we’re driven by love and sex, nothing can stop us. Think about it.


And now. The moment of truth….!

Let us rise and honour NUMBER ONE. The uttermost ironically twisted and painfully cunning reason why we simply should not wuss out of whatever the hell it is we’re stuck at doing.


NUMBER ONE: When life spits in your face and tells you that you’re a born, motherfucking loser.

Now this, THIS one I really can’t stand! They come in forms of sick comments made by your tutors, sometimes even by your closest friends. They claim to have the god given right to place a certain judgment of you, telling you that you can’t make it, that you shouldn’t be here, yada-yada-yada. Yeah, at that moment the brain absorbs and deciphers those comments as razor-sharp daggers gnawing its way towards the fragile soul. Blood rushes to your face as your cold palms form angry fists; ready to lash out and knock off a whole row of teeth from his/her bulging gums.

Lets take a short moment to breathe here.

Ah, now if we DID do that, we would have lost the battle. Succumbing to rage isn’t a wise thing to do. It actually shows signs of weakness. We become weak when we lose control. In this case, giving up translates as losing control of our lives and principles.

So now, still feel like giving up?

Pencil Plus Paper

Hey whaddaya know? Time for some boasting and gloating here.... For the first time , publishing works from my lovely course....enjoy!

My very first sketch



My fruit sketch



My final favorite man sketch




All six of my submitted sketches

Dunno what title to put.

5 days at home just went by and I can’t really complain. It was a short but enjoyable break.

Mom was as whiny as ever, telling me to drink more water, eat more fruits and get more sleep. “Yeeeeeesss mom.”

Dad had a new hobby of killing mosquitoes with this electric-swatter thing. That racquet looking killer was crazy! The bugs just evaporated into thin air upon contact. The popping sounds it made reminded me of old-school firecrackers.

My eldest sister Lilian was her same old self, lazing around without a worry in the world. Quoting Xinging-In-The-Loong-Doveman-Turned-Transexual, “Tired Lah….”

Here are other reasons why homecoming trips are great:

1) The food
The food in KL; I tell ya, oh the heavenly tasting food! Even the gods are not fed this well. Damn you Singapore for lousy food.

2) Piracy
Yeap, I bought tons of programmes in KL for half the price of ONE programme in Singapore. Didn’t get any movies this time, don’t think I’d have the time to watch them anyway. So, the mac just got better with cool mac utilities. Heh.

3) Rest
I can sleep the whole day at home if I wish! In Singapore? No way! Tutorials, Kim; Assignments, dude; Submissions, man; Meetings, brother; Band Practices, a$$! Sleep your head!

4) Math
Here, it’s divide 2.3. There, it becomes MULTIPLY.

5) Friends.
Hey, wait -- friends are great everywhere! They are just stuck in various different places. Bye Andrew!!!!! Will miss having you around.

And there you have it. The few reasons we ALL miss home. Ah, home sweet home, ‘till my next trip down!

Weird thoughts before a holiday.

And just like that, the term breaks for a week's holiday.

Actually, I seriously don't think that this week could pass as a holiday. Its Singapore anyway. There is NO SUCH THING. Time doesn't fly any quicker than this. It's a mad-ass institution, really.

So, what's the agenda this time?

Well, well, well....other than a new 6 week mega-assignment that will determine my CAP this semester, I've noticed something pretty interesting earlier tonight.

The hall band was performing. And they were performing good (the first few blues songs, at least.) But despite frontman Putra's enthusiastic stage presence, and rest of the band's charisma and grace, no one really gave a second look. It struck me there and then.

What if no one gives a damn?


?


What if whatever we're doing now; regardless of all the passion, commitment, joy and exposure, has no value in the public's eye?

That would be kinda scary. Doing something that you thought would separate you from the herd only to realise at the end that it's completely useless. I'm sure most of y'all would be raising objections at this point, but who's to say that the risk doesn't exist? What if it's true? What if we end up jobless, homeless, penniless and wifeless?

What if no one gives a damn? What a thought.

4a.m. rhymes

The air feels moist,
My breathing goes heavy,
Fingers are unsteady,
And I'm not ready.

The air gets thick,
Making me sick,
Feels like a dick,
Working for this prick.

It gets on my hands,
It gets on my clothes,
It even sticks to my freaking toes.

My skin is polluted,
My lungs are burnt,
Is there no end;
To this mindless hurt?

It tarnishes my soul,
It dampens my spirit,
There ain't no words;
that could fucking explain it.

Foams, foams, foams,
Blue friggin' foams,
Through every square inch,
Of the room it roams.

Caught some in my eye, GOD DAMNIT, MY EYE!
It hurts pretty bad. Being blind can be sad.

And yet I sculpt,
Polish and gloss,
Make it perfect,
And wow my boss.

Be better than the best, never settle for less.

It's worth more than precious rest.

But the sickest thing of all,
Is that I'm having a ball,
Even if my breakfast;
is taken at nightfall

I do what I love,
I love what I do!

Nothing beats this wonderful affection,
Nothing else matters; only perfection.

In PerfecTion,
Only 2 letters matter,
P stands for “Passion”; the passion that drives me.
T takes on “Time”; the time that binds me.

Thus it's P versus T;
that decides my fate,
So I buy myself time,
And deprive my bed.

I do what I love,
I love what I do.

Be better than the best.

Never settle for less.