Note: The following text contains elements of graphic violence and sex. Reader discretion advised.
I don’t really know whether I should write about this cause I might piss some people off. But guess what? I found out today that SO MANY people are actually talking about it already! And I have nothing else to write about! Hohoho….so here goes…..
3 days ago, while mom was doing some banking I sat obediently at the cushioned benches, reading Life of Pi by Yann Martel. (This is my second time, great book!) Pardon you, unemployed people have nothing much to do with their lives, really, but read their favourite novels two or three times over.
Anyway I was coming the part where poor Pi was about to eat the faeces of Richard Parker as he was at the brink of starvation. Note: faeces = dung; Richard Parker = Well, read it yourself cause I’m not spoiling it. For some reason I had this urge to look up that this guy who walked pass. At that point, I seriously and honestly thought that he was erm, well, quite inclined towards his feminine side. Okay, okay. I thought he was gay.
So I came back to my book, Pi was gobbling down the brown piece of crap but spat it out cause it didn’t contain any nutrients or something like that. My concentration faltered as there were children making noises all around me. Right then, I heard a voice to my left.
“Smart boy, yeah?”
“Excuse me?”
“Kids. Nowadays they start talking real early.”
“Hrm, yeah.” Back to book, please. Pi vowed never to eat faeces again. He was about to give up hope as hunger was overwhelming his body. A storm was brewing, and Pi
“Sorry, I didn’t get your name.”
“….Oh? Erm, Kim”
“Sorry?” This is starting to get annoying, but I’ll play along. Young adults should not be judgemental. Not every gay looking and sounding guy is actually gay.
“KIM.”
“Oh hi Kim; Jason.” The handshake felt feminine. A slight shrill down the spine. Let me get back to my book, please?
“So how old are you?” Mom, lets go grab a bite, like, now.
“Twenty-one. Yourself?”
“Guess.” Believe me, I don’t really give a rats-ass. Let me get back to my book.
“I’m bad at that; people’s age.”
“I’m thirty-five.” A 35-year old jewellery consultant, I found out a minute later. He asked where I hung out (Wait—in this context that sounded really, really horrible), she asked where I chilled, so I told her I didn’t like clubbing; obviously she was referring to that.
Giving a disappointed look she said, “So what do you do?”
I read books, can’t you get a clue? “Laze around, play music.”
“You play music.” Yeah, Prince’s We are the Champions is playing right now, hear that?
I gave a weak nod. BACK TO THE DAMN BOOK! PI PATEL WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF A STORM AND RICHARD PARKER WAS GETTING ANNO---
“Wow, that’s great. Hey, let’s exchange numbers.”
“Let’s exchange numbers.”
“Let’s exchange numbers.”
“Lets.”
“Exchange.”
“Nuuuuuummmberrrrsssss.”
Time sorta slowed down abit when he/she said that, whatever. I considered - If I said “no” it’d have been real rude. Phony numbers won’t work cause she said that she would like to exchange numbers, meaning that she’d miss call me as soon as I spoke the 10-digit combination. And for some twisted reason I did. My phone rang and died.
“Thanks. I gotta get going. We should hang out. See ya.”
I didn’t have the stomach to go back to my book anymore.
What was I thinking, giving my numbers to strangers like that? I didn’t want to think into it too much, I didn’t want to jump into conclusions. I messaged Elaine bout the incident though…. (hey we were already sms-ing each other earlier, alright)
It read, “Hey you free tonight? Wanna hang out? I’m gonna be a good boy, staying in my place at Titiwangsa. You can come over if you wanna.”
Ha! Ha! That was so funny my gay-o-meter just burst.
Being anally raped and thrown naked into Tasik Titiwangsa; I think, is a strong enough argument for me to not bother replying.
GAY ASS. DAMN YOU! STAY AWAY FROM YOUNGSTERS! STOP PREYING ON INNOCENT TEENAGE GUYS!! STAY AWAY FROM ADULTS WHO ARE STILL YOUNG AT HEART AND DO NOT SUFFER FROM RECEDING HAIRLINES!!! JUST GET THE PICTURE AND GET GOING!!!! GET LOST!!!!!! GET THERAPY!!!!
I shared this with Su and Carynl as well. Carynl kept quiet. Su said I had gay-appeal. Great, just great. Now I have gay-appeal. According to her I couldn’t do nuts to change anything about it. Even better. I’m an alleged gay-magnet and there’s nothing I could do to un-magnetise myself. VERY bagus. And I thought being gaining weight was bad.
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